When did I start to feel like grown up?
1. When I realized, problems will always be there and will never go away.
Problems are like villains in a Disney movie EXCEPT they respawn every day; they always come back for revenge. When I was younger, I was never oblivious to what’s happening around me, my parents’ problems, or whatever was related to me; I was aware. I always thought that I only cause problems and if only I didn’t exist then maybe it was going to get better for them. Well, think AGAIN! Even when I started to be independent they always had problems. Then I realized you can never fix something that don’t need fixin’. Because problems are a part of the natural world. Once you get used to them being there and learn to keep your calmness, you will get used to the idea.
2. When I started depending on myself more than I do on anyone.
I have mentioned that I am an only child. It is both an advantage and disadvantage. When I was younger, I used to get whatever I wanted. I was a shut in: I had food delivery service so my meals could be on standby while I played my RPG game and found my next save point. I grew up dumb. Whenever I needed something to be done, like chores, I asked someone to do it for me in exchange for something. I was a princess, except when I started having a place on my own, my fairy tale story was somehow going backwards. It was difficult to be Cinderella. I felt disgusted with myself and blamed others for not knowing what I should know by now. And these are the times, not only were for me but for everyone in general, to learn things on our own. It was a struggle for me but once I came to my senses and started Googling every simple thing I didn’t know, I was a prodigy. I used to blame people for not teaching me, but when I taught myself I felt independent. I could now do almost everything thanks to me. Tap yourself at your back if you’re the same!
3. When you start developing your own perspective and hold on to it strongly.
This is the greatest thing that helped me the most. So, bare with my flashback as the screen switches to black and white. I was cyber bullied when I was in high school. People often judge me because I am different. And that’s also one general fact of life: people will judge you just because you’re different. After those unfortunate incidents when I was younger, I was often conscious of the reason for their judgement. I was terrified of it. People judgements can define you so easily and other people find them believable. I did my best to be good, to be a model and perfect, but no, they still judged me for it whenever they had the chance. That is why, one of my strong beliefs is I don’t really care whatever other people say about me. Don’t get me wrong, there is a difference between not caring and not listening. I listen, but often don’t care. I can adjust my perspective but will hardly ever change it. If I think I’m still doing right after listening to other people, I am still right. I don’t have the need to prove it to random people around me, just with people I have respect for.
I don’t know you, so I care for me before anybody else. Well, except for my son which is first then, me.
4. There is no such thing as a perfect job.
Hello life! there you are again initiating immensely difficult interactions! Sometimes you just can’t help but to make me realize that happiness is indeed up to me. I’ve many jobs before and as a young woman that is something I’m not proud of. One job to another, my resume looks like I find jobs as collectibles. I finally ended up with a job that I consider myself good at. I’m an english teacher right now and I can say I love it. But being in love with your job doesn’t mean you are always happy with it and you are living a carefree job. NO. Absolutely not. Every now and then, I have troubles and there were times I just wanted to give up. Just as I realized: loving your job means as much as loving your partner and when they just did something absurd and you have to forgive them over and over again. You have to be able to be flexible, giving and willing to have sacrifices for work. And if you are able to then you are in love with your job. And being in love with something means accepting the imperfections it might have.
5. You are okay with being alone
I dreaded being alone. I used to be one of those people that would look for someone to talk to or anything just to squelch the silence. I’m actually sometimes still the same. There is a big difference with being alone, being antisocial and being lonely and you don’t need the last two. As you grow up, you will little by little understand that being alone is healthy for you. This is a necessary time for you to actually start to understand, love and motivate yourself to betterment and whatever you need to do in your private time shh. I won’t tell.
I learned to separate my necessities from my desires. Being alone doesn’t just mean you aren’t physically with people but also disconnected from social media. Social media is a series of people talking, I don’t need that subconscious noise in my mind. I would rather hear my own noise when I sing with my guitar and listen to me sing terribly. Yep!
6. WE NEVER REALLY GROW UP!
In my whole existence, I always strived for broad understanding. As a grown up, I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I mean really, what do you get from assuming the worse from people? stress? security? apprehensiveness? It only pollutes with your mind with negativity. But, you see, I thought everyone had a reason why they do things that which is uncalled for. I was wrong. Sometimes, we just want to do some things because we are just childlike inside. Just like when we were kids, we used to throw tantrums because we couldn’t get that piece of candy but we didn’t care if there was a reason we couldn’t. That feeling never goes away, but instead of lying on the floor kicking and crying your snot away, we want to inflict retaliatory pain to others as punishment. When someone does that to you, just know that we are not culpable for what we don’t understand and we are not really adults when it comes to aspects of life we haven’t experienced before. We grow as we learn and life is all about learning.
Comment your thoughts below. When did you start feeling like a grown up?